saturday

23:02 pm

hello there,

well how should i say it, it has been a quite nice day lately, i improved my drawing skill alhamdulilah i'm really happy and a little bit satisfied :')
but something has been bothering my mind...i don't know i just don't feel right somehow,i hate having unsolved problems :/
about my ex, i can't say that i'm 100 % over my ex, i guess i still have 30% remaining feelings, i know our relationship was not that healthy and beautiful in the last 3 months of our relationship before it ends, and we often suffer a lot, and it has more tears and pain , but i kinda miss him, i know i shouldn't,but thats doesn't mean i want him back,no.

i'm not regreting my decision for letting him go, afterall no matter what'll i do i'll end up hurting him,
 i just..feel strangely exhausted and pissed over some unknown reason 

and,i guess i just don't wanna be in love anymore for a quite long time, i don't wanna be attached, i want to set my heart free, until it really is time to love again. i already determine that since a long time ago honestly, cause falling in love in my age with my family condition is just playing with fire, it will end up hurting me and the other.

i really really hope the next person i'll be in love with is my soon to be husband someday in the future,it'll be a lot easier hahaah.
i've already made a new friend though , it was nice and refreshing talking with new people , i miss my bestfriends so much, and seeing my classmates graduation party is kinda pissing me off it makes me feel so gloomy and somehow left behind and forgotten :(

oh, btw tomorrow will be my youngest brother 7th birthday,excited for the cakes :D, and about my diet, well its still going and i currently weight 118 lbs now, 

i'm starting to sleep in the morning again, my bad habit is coming back, well...since i still have a plenty of time before school start i guess its not a really big deal...,right?..
but i'm having fun, being able to watch movies all night and allowed to wakes up late is just, happiness hahahah and the studies except math,hasn't started yet, so i will just cherish every moment of summer holiday :''}

well i really hope there will be more happiness in the future ,thanks for reading,happy holiday peeps :)

xoxo
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